New Year's Eve

the snow is crisp, textured with a snow cat
skiing in the close of 2017, I am thankful
for the muscles which propel me forward,
the mind which insists on doing what's difficult
in view of perhaps limited results
this is 2017, the year when Daniel and Tori,
Karen and Chris became couples, committed in
their optimism for a future together as should be,
they will stay up until midnight while
my love and I will snore gently at 10 pm
after downing a shot glass or two of Root,
our favorite nightcap,
with the ending of 2017, hope springs forth for
a change at the top, a change towards peace and
compassion, a caring for our beloved Earth, our
only home, for less suffering and more giving,
and for earlier snow next winter. 

A day in sun and snow

a day in sun and snow

long shadows, a woman and her dog

frozen in time.

they are a mystery with no names

and no faces, only silhouettes

and shadows

they are frozen in time, today standing

in sunshine and snow, 

in this moment, alive and bright

let this moment last forever

BellaRoomba

BellaRooomba terrifies Bella,
the squat cylinder rolls along the floor,
whirring and spinning as Bella puts her tail
between her legs and heads for the stairs.
I love BellaRoomba, whirring and vacuuming,
changing direction, bumping and pushing,
I could watch for hours and then look forward
to emptying out the dust and dog hair which
has accumulated in the "dust bin". 
and I never even picked up a broom
let Bella run and let me sit and watch
from her spot on the couch.

The disappearing pie

the best I ever made

I should have eaten it all 

not shared a single bite until my stomach

was stretched to the extreme

and I threw up blueberry pie.

so selfish, so divine

the crust fell away in flakes

the blueberries small and sweet

no soggy crust for me

all for me, this pie, butter turning

to fat around my middle, worth every 

bite, this best pie of all time,

my pie, all mine.

mean people and stomach aches

his rantings,
insults and childish temper tantrums
birthed a stomach ache,
one that wakes me up at night,
bent over,
only certain his immature ravings
must take their toll on him as well,
how not, it would be unfair otherwise
meanness cannot be segregated
from the soul, even if from the consciousness,
i must be sure of this
but in case, he will be reminded
soon by adults who will
remind him that acting like a
child will give him a stomach ache
if not an unemployment check

Here I am

who says

who says Santa can't carry everything on a bike

she knows she can, even a feather bed

doesn't faze her.

nothing does.

who says 

who says 

it can't be done

it's been done

this is nothing Santa can't do, she soothes children

who are crying on her lap

they stop suddenly, turning their

wonderous eyes up towards her face

instinctively knowing that she's a mom

they know 

they know

she says

stop

they stop

sleep does not come

at ten
lights out, book put away,
i dutifully close my eyes and breathe
in and out, I dutifully progressively relax
from toes to top, sleep does not come,
i want my evening shot of Root,
that delicious, burning sweet slide
down my throat
I can't sleep without it.
I can't sleep without tossing and turning
a bit and having at least half the bed,
I have nothing to help me
so I lie there quietly and wait
and wait and try again to
breathe, in and out, and again
and sleep doesn't come.
tomorrow I pull out the Root,
and sleep will come quickly.

going to bed earlier

by ten
my toes must hide under the covers,
my pillows must be arranged,
one for my arms, one for my legs,one for my head
i must be old.
at ten, a few pages can be turned,
perhaps a boring podcast or relaxing music.
at ten fifteen, the covers should be warm and
my body ready to sleep
my mind in shut down,
no, not ten thirty do I rush down the stairs,
or eleven, when I sneak quietly down to
a quiet room, my loved one breathing quietly,
only to stir and scold.
I slip into bed.
earlier tomorrow
I promise.

I need a Christmas sweater

he has the most special one,

Santa pissing in the snow, having carefully 

written Merry Christmas

I wish I hadn't noticed

and raindeer are humping in the snow

on Jesse's sweater, but her's 

oh, hers is the best, the one I would steal

away in the middle of the night,

Santa riding an unicorn amongst

the planets, the stars twinkling

in the darkness of night.

A life

what a life
from the small black and white child
to a young woman in the same colors
but smiling
in time, color, with brother and husband,
with son and daughter
with dogs.
I have hurtled towards happiness
and fallen into her embrace
sixty approaches,
what colors await me

something to celebrate

a child molester
a pedophile finally meets his end
to the amazement of the People.
the votes cast, the night has come
a new dawn will greet us as he slinks
to his den attended by his wife
his testament to his love for Jews
he has one on his staff.
this child molester will finally sleep
with his sins, away from his cheering crowds
who have finally gone silent.

wrapping presents

some are wrapped in old dictionary paper,
the thick tome took up too much shelf space and
reminded me of my ex-husband who had time and
no money, except mine.
I ripped the pages out with glee.
some are wrapped in the cheapest paper,
thin, with faded colors, as made and
after sitting for several years in the sun
and some are wrapped in old calendar pictures
of flamingos and hawks, cardinals
and yellow bellied finches.
I love those best of all.

the neighbor called

the neighbor called
we had a long chat about
community, the park, bike commuting
trash in his driveway
the Boulder icon who lives above him
the one I see with his dog, I just learned
he was a Boulder icon in the newspaper.
the neighbor called, the one who is not an icon,
who wants the trash picked up and who weeds
his garden, who loves the gardens and whose
mother comes on Sundays, whose son visits
on Mondays and Tuesdays.
I like this neighbor.
We will meet each other
soon

yes, we'll have BBQ

yes, we'll have BBQ at my birthday party
no stuffy smoked salmon with capers, or bruschetta
with goat cheese, no canapes or gluten free cake.
we'll eat BBQ meat, corn on the cob and cole slaw
we'll drink lots of beer and toast to the old lady
oh yeah, that's me.
yes, BBQ will rock, the old will feel youthful
the young will happily devour unapologetic meat.
and now, so late at night, I will go to the freezer
and unapologetically get myself a big bowl of ice
cream to help me sleep, with Root dribbled on top.
alcohol and cream, yes, I'll have that tonight.

taking the night off

no,
I'm getting a margarita instead
dropping by the bar
I won't be at the fundraiser
and I won't do situps tonight
I'm taking the night off,
not going to fight the good fight
or do the dishes,
the Republicans can do what they want
and I won't notice.
I'm taking the night off from anything
hard, from anything taxing or difficult,
the margarita is cool on my lips,
sweet on my tongue
I will look out the window
at the passersby
they are taking the night off
too

out in right field

i was always out in right field
cringing in fear of a ball coming my way -
it would no doubt miss my poorly placed mitt
and i'd run clumsily after the ball
as the hitter casually ran the bases
so many years ago
how I've never forgotten being
the outsider, the last picked, the
slowest, the brain, not the brawn,
the one who always shows up
40 years later to dance capoeira,
I'm showing up, I'm showing up
so many never do.

photographs

photographs
I haven't been taking them,
instead imprinting images in my mind
and adding text in real time
the color of the clouds in the morning
change so fast, from dazzling pinks to grey
then white,
Bella bounding through the trees,
her long, lean legs stretched to
horizontal, face forward, tail streaming back
it's in my mind
I see it now
I haven't been taking photographs
except in my memory

Baby kale

Baby kale in disco lights

the reds, the blues, the whites

American kale.

I can grow marijuana in this contraption,

American marijuana

and send it to my friend.

I don't smoke.

Or I could grow pansies

or tomatoes, lettuce or corn,

anything

I can grow ideas, proposals,

dust bunnies and socks.

Who needs stores when

I can grow everything.