Love, smiles and a red rubber ball for her birthday

who could have imagined such a birthday 36 years later

after the wonder of you, arriving with a full head of dark hair

and "chubby cheeks!" a girl!  

who could have imagined you, now a mother, so natural,

a scholar and wife, a daughter who I watch with wonder,

striding with confidence in this crazy world, stopping 

everything to smile and laugh at the little blonde girl

with newly trimmed bangs, I could never have imagined

that 36 years later I would feast my eyes and ears on

this scene, which quickly devolved into a view of 

your little girl's legs flailing in the air as she rolled on

her rubber ball, your laughter ringing joyously in

my ears. 

The dead tree that I never noticed

I had never noticed this dead tree, 

in the midst of the manicured yard, the flowers

blooming all around

But when did it die?  Had it recently died?  Were

there yet a few small leaves hidden in the upper branches

a gradual death that I had never noted, 

like our own, like the spiral of wrinkles I just noticed

this morning around my friend's eye when he smiled,

the deformation in his earlobe linked to cardiovascular disease,

It had to be that, the tree had been dying all these

years so no one thought to cut it down, it was 

just part of a slowly changing landscape, like us,

where we can convince ourselves for a few years

that we still look young, carefully controlling the angle we 

look at ourselves in the  mirror.

Yet, we are surprised at how old our friends look

and we know that we are with them, after all.

We are all growing fewer leaves each season,

finally death will take us and those who have not

been watching will be surprised that we have passed

so quickly. 

No one takes my chainsaw

 

she had a love affair with her chainsaw after her husband passed

leaning into its throaty rumble instead of his roaring snore, she felt peaceful

and in good company

powerful, even

her chainsaw didn't see her grey hair or sagging jowls, 

they shared a mutual respect, a respect her 69 year old son didn't seem

to fully comprehend, insisting that they part ways, for "safety" reasons.  

Oh she knew he told his Boulder friends, "I had to take away her chain saw."

but

Safe for whom, she wondered, pondering the fate of her only son,

nice and clean cut as he was, that could change if she didn't get her chainsaw back.

In Kentucky, women keep their chainsaws until death,

Being in the body

she is not thinking of her future or

what to wear to tomorrow, she is not 

thinking of Elsa or Melodie, or of 

mom or dad, or Felix, or ...anything.

she is not thinking she is in her body

moving through space on her new bike

her feet snuggled into her rain boots,

her cape resting loosely on her shoulders

she does not have to think about anything

her tummy is full, she is loved, her clothes fit

and she is riding through the air, her wheels 

spinning on the concrete at the park.