Walkin’ da bébé

Bella leads the way so the

Mira will smile, Opa being

Opa, the best grandpa ever,

strolling Mira home every night

walkin' da dog, walkin' da bebe.

The Toybox

a plastic box with paperclips inside, fun to shake

a shiny medal from a long ago bike race on a long striped ribbon, cool in the mouth

a neck gator, red, black and blue for covering other things

some measuring spoons to shake and pull apart

a bracelet from Senegal, to hit things with and admire

the box my harmonica came in, empty now but fun to open and close

because I am playing my harmonica

two rolled up kitchen towels to unroll

and hand back to Mimi to roll up again,

a bag made of shiny, stretchy fabric, interesting to touch and stretch,

a small brush, having never scrubbed, feels good on the gums

as well as the Senegelese stick they use for theirs

All in a properly sized cardboard box.

Who needs toys?

Reach for the sky

Looking forward

I changed my profile picture today at work

so I'd look young, engaged and energetic

as I prepared for retirement in less than 5 months.

I want to be remembered this way even as I

feel my motivation and enthusiasm dipping,

as my heart moves towards babies that will

inherit this broken world, who don't deserve

what we have made,

I can at least love them and guide them to 

change the world for the better, just as I hoped

I had done with my own.  

I still have a long road, to look out with 

eagerness and energy to make the world a better

place, in a broader way than helping us find

the stars when our earth needs us more. 

Sweet news

sweets with a card

of sweet news

the arrival of a sweet baby

during the sweet months of fall,

how sweet 

my sweet son and his wife

are having a baby

Uses for toilet paper

forget the pandemic.

the silly rush to the market to buy

rolls and rolls of toilet paper.

I just need one for my makeshift office

at the cabin in the mountains.

for my ergometric setup, screen at eye level

keyboard below.

a wrist support of two washcloths, 

that's all that's needed, really,

the many uses of toilet paper

besides the obvious.  

Snow angel

yep, that's me 

because I am the one who is out there,

shoveling snow when it's 5F outside.

yes, he's inside, briefly opening the door

to take a photograph and scurry in,

wiping the snow from his slippers.

the dog rushes out to say hi,

and rushes back in to check her

food bowl.

I am the snow angel, with my shovel,

warmly dressed against the cold.

yep, that's me

Be my valentine

be mine, little Sunshine,

dressed in hearts

I never want you to part.

you're my little Sunshine,

don't break my heart

California doesn't want you

the way I do

I want you to stay

so we can always play.

tag: Mira

Waiting for the next one

when Mira goes home, there will be another one,

a small one who will take time to sit in this chair

being nestled against her mother's breast for some 

months, warm and safe.

we know this setup now with the small cup

and a couple bibs, a tiny spoon and a big tray

to contain some of the mess, supposedly.

we'll be ready when this new baby arrives,

our arms open and welcoming.

Fire and snow

The contrast was too great to comprehend.

The skeletal remains of a once-green and 

magnificent forest, now corpses to blow

down in the wind, the ghost of an inferno.

Now, blanketed in snow white, a skier

glides gracefully across well made tracks,

her dog prancing in and out of deep drifts,

only to run to catch up with her.

there is no smell of fire anymore, and the

infernal wind that must have blown has snuffed

out, leaving this landscape of black and white.

Thursday

It's Thursday, and I note in my diary

what I did, what I wanted to do.

Did;  Bella/work/Mira/work/drop off car/walk home/nap/make dinner/The Spy/poem/sleep

Want:  Read paper/French/Wolof/Mira/lunch/hike/nap/have Stephen make dinner for me/read/sleep

A big disconnect for now, but not for retirement, when I can do my want list

and more, or less

.

The last of it

my birthday chocolate cake,

dense, rich cake iced with dark chocolate icing

I could have eaten the whole thing

but squirreled away a piece in the freezer,

buried under blueberries and waffles,

so only I would know, silently sliding it

out one day without telling "anyone"

and eating it all myself.

don't tell.

No time like the present

After all, she is my captive

up in the room with golden walls.

no mother to scold, just me and her,

my little Mira

I will teach her Reverse Polish notation

so she can use my calculator when 

she needs it.

everyone needs a calculator and this

one, having traversed the hallways of 

MIT and Harvard will surely never

die. 

Love from a distance

he always sends me love.

and I to him, the strands of our friendship

sustained through years where not a word

was spoken, not a single letter, only

a memory, a Cat Stevens song that

always made me think of him and wonder

where he was until the day he reappeared

like magic, flickering, yes, but finally

bright and steady, my friend, Steve.

I'll take the socially distanced love, it's

as solid as the love that may stand in front

of you but that you never feel. 

He’s my son, sama doom bu goor

Ameth Dieye, the same name as

half the men in Senegal,

but he is my special son, the one I

traveled across the ocean to see, planes,

buses, taxis, arriving at a small city, hot,

in the interior of Senegal.

18 and silent in French, sullen, but happy

amazed that I was there, this white American 

woman, the one who sent letters and a soccer ball.

Now, 20 and smiling, in Italy, among pigeons,

squatting in front of a famous church somewhere

he is my son, sama doom bu goor.

The channel changer

the Moon will have to wait

for as we study how to settle the dust

interruptions no doubt arise

in the form of small fingers

dancing over keyboards, eager

to explore other channels on this magic box.

this shiny screen that changes colors

with a swipe of the hand, 

dust be damned, the Moon

will wait.

What I’m thinking about today

why not?

we need oxygen to breathe

but it's a bit much, let's add

some nitrogen, oh, our skin calls

for water    please.

at a party, we might breathe in He

and laugh like fools, like

Daffy Duck.

watch out, hydrogen is escaping quickly

and carbon dioxide needs a 

push.

I know it’s in there somewhere

it's in there somewhere,

the bronze bracelet from Senegal

that I saw my grandmother slip in

while I was watching.

I love Mimi for hiding balls underneath

big Aluminum cups and letting me find them.

she gave me my own harmonica and sometimes

a sound comes out of it.

My Mimi loves me, I can tell, because

she kisses my head and holds me tight

when we go down the impossibly

steep stairs, I hear her feet shuffle

so carefully, stepping down one foot

at a time, grasping the banister

so very tight. 

Cloud Appreciation Society

I don't have my  membership card yet

but I do admire the clouds, the ones that

hover low on the ground in the dusk,

reflecting the shimmer of river

along which I stroll at the end of 

a day of work, seeking solace and 

calm, a break from the hum of the 

computer screen, the zigzag of the

Zoom video call, the pressure of headphones

against my ears, all the human buzz,

I find nature in the clouds that hover

above me, perhaps even God.