Midlife

 

 No matter the path, we are transitioning seamlessly

into middle age, whether we drive a 1992 Geo Prizm

or a 2014 Porsche, whether we recognize the faces in

People magazine, or hate to be called sir or madam.

Some of us may still secretly try on our daughter's skin tight jeans

when she is out with her friends, or loll around slightly 

stained grey sweatpants, we are all heading there even 

if we detour to the gym to train for an Ironman, or just

stop at the grocery store to pick up a carton of milk.

Some of us angst, others gain weight, some call their kids,

others work too much, others retire early and regret having

that much more time to figure out their lives, but we all

stumble along somehow into this abyss called midlife,

enjoy it while it lasts because before we know it, we'll

be called elderly and then what will we have to figure out.

Special thanks to Scratchy for directing me to this link:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/08/midlife-crisis-signs-_n_5526696.html

This is my letter to the world

this is my letter to the world

scrawled on the back of a napkin

illegible even to myself.

this is mid-life where nothing makes sense

and the coherency and logic of dreams evaporate

like the glistening tears on your cheeks that I swore

I saw a moment ago

and the world has since traveled some thousand

miles but the storm is still clinging to the hillside,

I can hear the thunder approaching,

the lightning will deliver a response

rapid fire and staccato, so fast as to be illegible

to these middle-aged eyes, even reading 

glasses will never decipher the reply.

Sunday Dinner

usually it's with my children gathered around
the table on the backporch, a moderately clean tablecloth
to cover the slats, our faces lit by candlelight.
tonight, our legs warmed by a hot fire, we watch
the moon rise in the sky over Grand Lake, lovely
indeed but I am missing my loved ones, the ones who
came from me, are of me, but not me, who are
separate but connected, who tower over me now
and remind me more of my shortcomings but who
would surely show up if needed, we see the same stars
and Moon, we dream many of the same dreams,
they are here beside me in their absence.

Independence Day

today,
independence from working,
the manuscript can wait, as can the dishes,
the responsibilities, only the apples hanging low
on bowed branches up the canyon call to me.
the whir of the hummingbird, the rising wind
and the scuttling clouds speak to me today,
let men's demands fall on deaf ears,
today is independence day
from all demands but
those of my own beating
heart.

feeling like a chili relleno

stuffed with cheese,
the soft green pepper spilling white
out the sides of the jeans, the buttons stretched
a bit too tight, the scale has not felt the soft
pressure of ten toes for quite some time.
I'd be afraid to look if I were you, too.
white bread, soft rind cheeses, wine,
grapes, friendship, only the latter does not
necessarily lead to weight gain.
eat around the edges and then inhale
the cheese whole, it will make you
happy.

The Angry Man in the Conference Room

the door was closed and the red in his face
was like the heat lamps in the hotel bathrooms,
those exposed to it wanted to turn away or turn it off
if they could without turning off the fan.
our voices surrounded him, trying to calm the anger
that metamorphized from nothing, the loud voice,
the flush, the insistence on being right when
he was wrong, that's ok, dude, you're ok,
let's stay chill, grab some ice cubes and
cool your armpits, they are wet with anger
and heat, you are burning so hot, you
will one day keel over from it all.

Beethoven and Coldplay: No One said it was easy

Nobody said it was easy,
Beethoven had terrible luck with women,
so much unrequited love, go back to the start.
they did, so will we, and start again,
this time furrowed brow and renewed determination,
so many generations in between, so much the same,
the struggles, the yearning, the needs, the creation,
the beauty, the wonder, the flow, the magnificence,
let us remember as we struggle, from struggle
comes beauty, let's see it and believe in it.