Browsing the "News"

I have never been lost in the wilderness
with a bottle of unopened beer, a spoon
and a desire to drink it,
yet I read every word of this article
on how to solve this pressing dilemma.
no, I didn't read about the efforts in Nepal
to help those in need, or the latest rants
from out political representatives, nor did
I read a good poem or a compelling
news analysis about gender bias variation
across the world.
I admit with embarrassment that
I read how to open a beer bottle with
a spoon during my limited free time.
Perfectly good brain cells were destroyed.