une randonee a velo

Quand meme, en retard, nous avons reussi a louer deux velos electriques dans Bourg d'Oisans.  Un velo de route pour moi,  un velo de tourisme pour Stephen.  Plus droit pour lui, plus tendu pour moi.  Le routes au bord du fleuve etaient seulement pour les pietons et velos, forestieres, calmes, frais.  Aussi les petit routes (avec voitures) etaient calme, et a commence a monte. L'affichage chaque km etait marque avec l'inclination de la pente.  4-5% est confortable, 7-8% dur, 10% stresssant, et nous avons vu plus que 11.5%.  Pour monter, ca va, mais descendre...ce me fait peur parce qu'on roule trop vite.  J'etais contente d'etre sur les terrains plats....

On a bien diner avec les cyclistes d'Angleterre et d'Allemagne.  Tous le monde partira demain matin.

Une randonee dans les montagnes

Nous avons pris le petit dejeuner avec le jeune homme allemand.  Dominic et moi avons recherche comment faire le "Air Drop" pour transfer une appli.  Etant peur de la pluie, nous avons commence notre randonee avec les manteau de pluie dans les sacs a dos.  Il y a bcp de signage pour les chemins, les sentier, mais souvent on ne les trouvait pas!  Donc, on a passe par Vaujany, puis Villette.  Les vues etaient spectaculaire!  Il a neige tout en haut dans les montagnes la nuit derniere.  Les villes sont vides, les condominiums vides, seulement les travailleurs faisant la construction.  ET nous avons eu faim!  Que nous etions contents de voir un "super marche" ou on a achete du fromage, du jambon, du pain..du vin. et nous avons dejeuner sur un banc dans le cours d'une eglise avec une vue sur les montagnes.

Ce soir, nous avons dine a l'Auberge de Cure dans une ville a cote, plusieurs virages, descends et remonter.  J'ai mange des haricot verts, comme spaghetti, avec un oeuf la-dessus (poached), du fromage...c'etait bon et je dois la cuisiner chez nous.

en route a l'Alpes d'Huez

La voiture n'etais pas prete a 10h parce que mon cher mari a demande une voiture a 11h.  Je me habitue aux trucs comme ca.  Je me suis promene dans le soleil, regardant les vitrines de soie, de bijouterie.  Enfin, nous sommes partis pour le montagnes.
Dejeuner dans un petit village, nom inconnue, pour un dejeuner delicieux, un petit verre.  Regardes la carte desssus!  Et puis, les montagnes a distance tres belles, encore plus belles plus proches.  J'etais tres fatiguee.  Et voila, nous sommes ici, nous avons dine avec trois hommes (jeune..mais quelle age est jeune...ils etaient dans le treintaine?)  d'Angleterre, avec qui je parlais, un homme (jeune) de Hollande (avec qui j'ai aussi parle), et Stephen a parle avec un couple un peu plus age qui habite au nord de la France.  Le repas etait delicieux, j'ai trop mange, bien sur.

Le vue de notre chambre est extraordinaire.  Il faut prendre no. 8.

La France: Nous sommes arrives a Lyon

Nous sommes arrives a Lyon hier soir, apres 9 heures de vol, 4 h d'attente, 2 hr de train, et qq minutes en taxi.  Que nous etions fatigues!

Ce matin,  je me suis levee tard; Stephen etait de retour avec les patisseries pour le petit dejeuner.  Avec un cafe, la vie etait en rose!  Tranquillement, nous sommes parties pour visiter la ville a pied.
Je vois dans notre voisinage des blancs, les touristes plutot, mais en ville, je vois bcp de noirs et de bruns...pas bcp de blancs.  La France a bcp change.  C'est une bonne chose..j'aimerais bien que mon ville sois plus divers.

Nous avons dine au petit restaurant Suisse, un repas de raclette delicieuse!  Tard....bcp plus tard que chez nous.  Ici, on entends tres peu des autre langues.  Lyon, c'est une destination pour les francais. Et bien sur, je suis contente comment on peut aller partout a pied, en velo, le metro, les bus, les trams.  On a visite (meme si c'etait ferme), le musee de confluence (des deux grands rivieres).  Un building tres moderne, beau, innovateur.  Il n'y a personne, a la nuit tombante.

en route to the wedding: the suit

it's a long ride
your new suit streaming behind you
like Superman's cape
it becomes you.
it's a long way to the wedding
this being the first step, to buy a suit,
a tie, a shirt, still missing a belt and shoes.
we'll ride together tonight
my dress hangs at home, blue to
match your suit
we'll look so fine.

A Feminist Guide to a Healthy Marriage: Notes from the road

Congratulations!  You have found a man with whom you want to share your life, have a family, travel, make a home together.  That is a lovely thing!  You will be a beautiful bride on the arm of your handsome husband, will go on an amazing honeymoon - only after that will married life begin!  ; )  Married life/family life, in my opinion, is the most difficult, but most enriching experience for any human being.

Having failed twice, successful on the third try, having learned alot, I wanted to offer as my bridal shower gift some reflections based on my own experiences, both as a wife, as well as a professional woman in American culture.

1. Never stop working
Work is money; Money is power; Power is equality in relationship.

In the throes of love, babies, expense of childcare, too many women drop out of the workforce, only to find that they have been left behind professionally, have become less interesting to the world and their husbands (and themselves!!).  They find themselves doing more and more of the tedious work typical of women in our society.
(notes from the road:  last weekend, I spent time with a 57 year old girlfriend, dominated by her husband, constantly catering to his needs/demands, who reflected ruefully on her leaving the workforce to take care of kids.  Something she never had considered then, but realizes the consequences of this decision...)

2. Keep seeing your girlfriends.
Alone.  Not with husband at your side, nor with the other husbands of your friends.  Women can do for each other what a man cannot do, nor would want to, in many cases. And don't just get together to "talk" over wine - go do something active, build something, invent something.

(notes from the road:  Too few women do cool stuff in the community.)

3. Do things alone - activities that have no overlap with your husband, things that you can do at home, or away.  where you can bury yourself in your own thoughts, able to forget that you even have a husband.
(notes from the road: noise cancelling headphones are awesome.  pick a new hobby even if you don't have time.  I love playing music with other people, even though we aren't that good.  Pick something your husband has no interest in).

4. Keep your family of origin and your in-laws at a healthy distance.
The process of a forming a new family unit, you and your husband, takes time. Your new family is your primary unit - no longer your mom, dad, siblings, nor in-laws.
(notes from the road:  I have seen this so many times, both genders, where the spouse is sidelined by the needs/demands of the parents.  Heck, I only talk to Karen every couple of weeks...maybe a little extreme, but we are both busy and her family is now Chris.)

6. Get couples counseling during all the years of your marriage.
Marriage is hard.  Things get swept under the rug and resentments build.  It gets annoying that he never puts the cap on the toothpaste (or whatever).   Use regular counseling sessions to keep on top of problems, yes, but also to grow together and deepen your understanding of yourself and each other.  Don't wait until it's too late to save the marriage.
(notes from the road:  I know you are already doing this.  Bravo!  I would not still be married to Stephen is we did not do this...going on 12 years now!)

5. love is not enough.
It's not.  It's a good start, though.
(notes from the road:  I loved husband #1 and husband #2, even though I divorced them.)

7.  Now that you're married, live life as if you aren't.
It's been well documented that after marriage, men and women tend to fall into traditional gender roles - even if they disagree with those roles, or even if they lived together unmarried as equal partners for years before getting married.  We swim in a sea of gender stereotypes.  And that's not good for men or women.
(notes from the road:  I experienced this myself, being married to a dominant male (husband #2). What he loved in me, my independence and broad interests, were gradually crushed by the relationship.  Less so with a laid-back one, but still something I have to constantly monitor.)

8.  Keep your own money separate from joint spending

Money is one of the top stress points in a marriage.  Another good reason to keep working to make your own money....
(notes from the road:  I have spent hundreds/thousands of dollars on people/items that had alot of meaning for me without Stephen even knowing.  It's a great freedom. Stephen drops $6000 on a new bike?  That's cool.  (caveat:  you have to be saving for your joint goals, such as house, etc...)

The consequences of teaching independence to your daughter

she knows I'm there is she needs me,
she can turn around and see me waving
her into the world,
not back.
she's an independent woman
 no need for daily
texts or emails, phone calls or letters
she's an independent woman
i would sit in the back of her classroom
if i were there
she's an independent woman
i'm sure i'll hear from her when she
needs me