Day 11: A hard day

a spinal tap, blood tests, a swab

another

and nothing shows up

the splits split and rejoin

we stumble along in an oscillating mix of hope

and fear, we are in a daze, there is only

so much we can take

I forget how to spell or my fingers

can't find the keys, there are no spaces

or too many, and words come out all wrong.

this is what happens when your heart

is in your mouth and you don't know

if you will swallow it whole or

drown .